It feels good to be in a relationship, you know, the whole sense of purpose thing and having someone to practice all the mushiness with and everything. Let me be quick to point out though, that it’s not what all you guys call relationships that are actual relationships. (The see-each-other-once-in-three-months-and-get-down-with-the-girl-next-door thing that you guys do does not count, ok? Sorted) I’m talking about the real deal, the one where you ball out of your office at thirty minutes to closing time just so you can be with her, even though you guys spent the whole of the previous day together. It feels really good to have someone worry herself to death over whether you’ve had lunch or not and always supports you when you relate the argument you had with your boss to her, no matter how irrational your point appears to be. Believe it or not, the fights, the arguments, the occasional frustration of what-does-she-want-from-me are all pieces to the puzzle that make up a real beautiful picture.
I don’t know if everyone else got lucky as I did, but I have a girlfriend who perfectly understands my financial disposition. Yup, I can take her to Chinese Express maybe like once a month, and I can get her real pretty dresses from that boutique that is having clearance sales. I can contribute to that really expensive (this is a relative term) bag that she’s been craving and from time-to-time, go see a movie at SEC. But that’s about it for now, not many more luxuries except for quality time and quite a lot of laughs but the girl doesn’t pressure me. Do not get me wrong, my girlfriend was and still is a baller, she’s the kind to take all her friends out to that new joint in town and bankroll the whole damn thing or take it upon herself to organize surprise birthday parties for her close friends without sparing any expense. It is only sensible to conclude that as a result of a very active social life she constantly meets people that are well to do and of course want to get with her. But like I said, she doesn’t tension me, albeit unnecessarily, to go out of my way to do stuff, but then if you have any sense of self-worth, your manly sensibilities begin to get challenged. Occasions when she complains randomly about stuff involving finances, and then says afterwards “Seye, I’m just saying o, you don’t need to worry about it”. Truth is, Seye does worry about it and cannot stop thinking afterwards.
I have never been a romantic, or really understood the importance of gifts and what-not in a relationship, but having a girlfriend like mine will make you re-evaluate your life and try to gain some understanding. She bamboozles me with gifts and on occasion, stocks my house with groceries and foodstuff. I make a comment about how I need a new pair of shoes or a new white shirt and boom, it’s done. I, as a man of pride, try to make it a point of duty to ‘equalize’ every time she trumps me on the gifts chart but it’s hard to keep up man. Right in the middle of buying NEPA credit (and before you people say “how much is NEPA credit; I live in Wuse II, they don’t take light.), paying for internet, telephone bills, monthly allowance for the old lady, and of course Jack Daniels every other Friday, I still have to be a man and take my woman out to dinner and buy her dresses.
Now, here’s the real conundrum. Not many guys are comfortable revealing the exact size of their paycheck to their partners, I don’t know if this is male instinct or maybe we are just really cheap. However, it could be a shot to your own foot because as a result, girlfriend doesn’t exactly know what to you “ees nuttin”, and may fortuitously say one day “Honey, can I get 150k real quick? There’s this bag and pair of shoes I’m dying to have and I’m a little cash strapped right now” and then you begin to sweat and stutter. If you manage to come up with that, she also doesn’t know that you’ve decided to drink garri for the rest of the month and may begin to tell you how much she wants to go for vacation in Zanzibar at the end of the month.
My entire rant may have put me out there as a real cheapskate boyfriend but here is the truth: I wouldn’t have it otherwise. Before now, I had no goals and money was just a tool to end boredom. But being in a relationship keeps you on your toes. It’s a constant intellectual challenge that makes you not want to be redundant and keeps you hungry for a new mission. In the course of this relationship, I have taken up two jobs and my life is worth a lot more than it was just a few months ago. I have suddenly discovered the “ability to work under pressure” that we keep writing in our resumes and my sense of self-worth/respect is hitting unprecedented levels.
So back to my question: can I afford a girlfriend? Probably not, but I’ll be damned if I do not try.
Now let’s get your thoughts on this. Guys, have you ever revealed the exact size of your paycheck to your partners? How did that go? Will you do it again? And for the women reading, do you really want to know what he earns? Why? How would that impact your relationship? Use the comment box to express you.
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